Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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