Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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