This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
