Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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