So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My cat gives me a boner
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
