I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
