haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
