oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
