You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize