sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
