hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
