O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
