I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
