it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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