umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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