The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We are two peas in an std pod
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
