i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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