Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
