oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My pussy is not your playground.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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