Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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