you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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