you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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