Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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