I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
