he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
