please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize