I hate all girls vehemently.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
