fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
