Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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