it hurts more in the daytime
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Randomize
