right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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