3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
