My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm passing your future prison.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
