Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Send help, water and tortillas.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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