You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
