I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
