Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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