You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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