I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize