I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
