I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
