coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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