i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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