...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
