he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize