remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
