brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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