You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
