I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I could fuck to npr.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
