I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
