YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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