When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
