i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
