when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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