Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
