So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize