ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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