i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
