This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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