I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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