Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
