That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
