That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
