guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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