i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize