I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize