Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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