I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
