I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
