Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
