just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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