Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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