Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
