I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
soo... how was my night?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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