Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
