I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
