i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
