you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
