As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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