AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize