She is in my trunk
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
