I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
