5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
