if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize