Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
