they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize